For years I resisted getting a smartphone. As I saw more and more faces adopt that downward tilt towards a phone, I became more determined than ever to keep mine up. There’s just too much to see and I don’t want to miss it.
I stubbornly held onto my old Nokia and most of the time I felt smugly content with it. Phone calls and texts, what more could you need? Whatever captivating worlds lay hidden in smartphones, I did not want to know about them.
But a few weeks ago I succumbed. It was mainly the camera that did it. I love a good nature photo and liked the idea of being able to capture some of the beauty I experience on my walks without lugging a big camera around. And dare I say it, having a smartphone has made some things a bit easier!
A few days ago, however, a little lesson came my way as I was heading out. I stepped into the garden and there, only a metre or so away from me, stood a little blackbird. It stared up at me and I stopped and stood transfixed by this sweet little bird. We both just stood there looking at each other and I hardly dared breathe for fear of scaring it away.
I couldn’t believe my luck. It didn’t seem to be hurt but it just wasn’t scared. I crept slowly towards it hoping with all my heart that it would sense I wasn’t a threat and I crouched down right next to it.
A feeling of pure joy came over me and I found myself smiling at this beautiful bird. I felt so honored that it had let me come so close.
And then after a minute or so of experiencing this special moment, a thought struck me. What a beautiful photograph I could take of this blackbird. It’s not every day that you are in such close proximity to a bird. I could take an amazing close-up picture.
And as my hand reached into my pocket to pull out my phone, I broke the spell. Crouching, phone in hand, I felt ashamed as this little blackbird took flight across the garden.
And just like that I saw how strong the pull can be to try to capture beauty instead of experiencing it. I’d inadvertently stepped right into the hole I’d been avoiding all these years.
Taking a beautiful photograph is certainly rewarding but the gift of the present moment is one that is worth consciously choosing.
What the blackbird reminded me was that when I spend time in nature, I must make a decision. I am either going to photograph it or surrender completely to the present moment but I can’t have my cake and eat it.